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[Poetry] Long Way To Go

“You have a long way to go…”

When those words first caught my ears,

I was gripped with fear.

Fear that what I wished to do would never be,

What I wished to achieve was nothing more than a dream

Never to be reached.

I am only 23 and barely out in the world.

I barely have anything to my name,

Feeling as if I am out here on my own.

Feeling as if nothing I said truly mattered,

That my confidence and pride were bruised and battered.

It had been one of those days:

Kids shouting back at everything you say;

People running around every which way;

Words flying with no direction,

Missing out on shared connections;

Tempers flaring for no other reason

Than to prove a point of view that’s no different

Than the one against which you argued.

And on it spiraled til feelings were hurt,

Voices neglected and purpose forgotten.

In I held it as I rode back home,

Wondering what went wrong, if it was my fault

And if I would be able to move along.

Then I heard his words,

this old unassuming man,

as I moved to the door,

And there, it all came crumbling down.

Tears threatening to fall broke through,

Mixing with the Seattle rain as came front the held back pain.

The pain of feeling ignored,

Feeling too small to do anything worthwhile,

Feeling confused of what’s going on.

Doubts came to the front as I beat myself up

About what I had no control over

And I lost track of what was in front.

It wasn’t til I glanced up to the sky to began to ask why

That I noticed the stars glittering above

And got lost counting them til my soul had calmed.

A deep breath I took as I continued my walk

And realized that I could only control what was in front.

The next day, I walked into face my fears.

The past was behind me, the future lay ahead

But the present I could change if I put forth my best.

And I imagined that I only heard a part of what the man said:

“You have a long way to go by you’re strong so work hard and you’ll get there.”

Though I’ve never wandered far,

I’m beholden to the stars

Counting them made life easily flow

Even when there were times when

I felt like I could barely keep afloat…